I’m referring to that song by Journey or Foreigner or Boston or whatever. It’s actually a kind of dark lyric if you look at it right. It’s not like hey... Who's Online | Find Members | Private Messages
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From the Journal of amaqdrinker | mood: Good

Pack your bags we’ll leave tonight.

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8 months ago - Sunday 3/14/21 - 8:20:50 AM EST (GMT-5)
It is very reassuring to hear good feedback. Good job.
8 months ago - Sunday 3/14/21 - 2:14:55 PM EST (GMT-5)
On Thursday 3/4/21 - 8:37:54 AM amaqdrinker wrote:
[image] [image] [image] [image]


Ohhhh the good life.

8 months ago - Sunday 3/14/21 - 4:59:20 PM EST (GMT-5)
Love me love me.

Shower me with kisses.
8 months ago - Sunday 3/14/21 - 8:59:54 PM EST (GMT-5)
My stimulus check is going through on the seventeenth.

I celebrated St Patrick’s Day with my cousins and their friends.

It was alright. Seated tables with appetizers. Didn’t drink anything fancy. Had an Irish Red Ale by Great Lakes. Fireball shots. Mostly Bud Lights.

Trying to stay awake tonight. Have to be up late for work again. And I have to go in early to finish the audit. So it’ll be a busy day.

It was so nice to have sunlight until seven or eight. It’s been colder again though. Was fifty a few days last week.

I also want to mention that I finished reading Job while we were away. And when Jehovah is explaining the marvels of creation it was so appropriate to read that in the context of a tropical island. It really helped to understand the point of the works of man compared to the workings of the divine.

I think I’m fully prepared to return to work. Here’s hoping
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/16/21 - 12:43:18 AM EST (GMT-5)
Survived a ten and a half hour day.

Don’t feel too stressed.
8 months ago - Wednesday 3/17/21 - 12:22:58 AM EST (GMT-5)
Again not leaving work as frustrated. Still a bit mystified. A little bit at a loss for words. But it’s just still the same. I left for two weeks. Apparently nothing exploded. I don’t think anyone died. But it’s still the same.

What confuses me is that one day can be so drastically different from the last within a strictly regulated manufacturing environment. It’s just ripe for my paranoia. Possibly it’s just such a small shop that the work comes and goes in such a sporadic fashion that one day really is just that separate from the days around it.

What the paranoid thought is, though, is that someone is willingly manipulating a system to interrupt repeatability in a system that is most suited to high degrees of repeatability. And then the fantasies of particular boogeymen and culprits dance circles in my brain.

But it’s still the same!

So it finally feels like just a job...
8 months ago - Thursday 3/18/21 - 1:11:34 AM EST (GMT-5)
Scale of 1 to ten...

If I’m working on government contracts does my employer know I post here.
8 months ago - Thursday 3/18/21 - 2:16:21 AM EST (GMT-5)
I’m not freaking out or anything. I’m just wondering.
8 months ago - Thursday 3/18/21 - 2:37:23 AM EST (GMT-5)
Shutting my heat off while I was on vacation definitely lowered my electric bill.

Just noting that. Landlord said there was good insulation.
8 months ago - Friday 3/19/21 - 12:15:29 AM EST (GMT-5)
Beer club arrived today. Pale ale, IPA, witbier, and amber/red.

In cans this time.

Still tastes good.
8 months ago - Friday 3/19/21 - 5:04:00 AM EST (GMT-5)
That's good.
8 months ago - Friday 3/19/21 - 10:41:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
A kid from a nearby city is playing on Syracuse tonight.
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 12:04:48 PM EST (GMT-5)
So apparently me going for a run makes YT come back.
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 1:30:38 PM EST (GMT-5)
And I’m going to stop texting that person. They can text me if they want but I think we have different expectations. I think it’s still okay. Maybe I have to adjust my expectations.
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 11:21:09 PM EST (GMT-5)
You don't know it, but on your last trip to Sacramento, Buddy wiretapped you and ran California Uber Alles software into your iCal.
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 11:37:46 PM EST (GMT-5)
So my primary care clued me in to the fact that one of my prescriptions is supposed to be taken twice daily and not two doses at once.

Today was day one of psychiatric medication immediately preceding work.

I guess it’s a twelve hour cycle with one or two doses. My psychiatrist told me several times that they are a 24 hour cycle.

Regardless, it was good. I think it was more effective. I took one last night and one this afternoon. Not as drowsy in the morning. Calmer at work.

I think it’s a progress. A net positive.

Still just miffed sometimes.

But I guess sometimes you just get miffed.
8 months ago - Tuesday 3/23/21 - 11:53:32 PM EST (GMT-5)
Progress is good.
Two steps forward one step back.shuffle
8 months ago - Thursday 3/25/21 - 12:44:20 AM EST (GMT-5)
Survived another day.

Round two of immediate sedation. Destruction of fear through chemicals.

I think fear is real though. I don’t think I subject myself accordingly and fear is no longer present. Fear is accurate.

That’s why I like reading my Bible.

Fearing God is real. Fearing the one who has power to cast into hell. But not fearing as well is the reassurance. The sufficient sacrifice. The new life. But surrounded by the old.

It’s an example to be made. It’s not a simple demonstration. And I’m certainly not a great example. I mean no one is. I’m not a real Pope kind of guy I guess.

But thanks big pharma. You sedated my weakness in the face of what is actually true.

It’s alright about the heroin epidemic. I mean it’s really not but hey free market cheaper than happy pills.

I never did Adderal in college. Gonna state that here.
8 months ago - Thursday 3/25/21 - 1:58:57 AM EST (GMT-5)
The company I work for bids for military contracts as well. Which means that we end up with commercial military contracts.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:04:09 AM EST (GMT-5)
I’m supposed to move my cousin to western NY?

I guess?

It’ll be something to do this weekend.

And Good Friday is a paid holiday at work.

Is Good Friday a trick though? I mean yes. It is Good that Christ sacrificed himself, or allowed himself to be sacrificed according to his Father’s will, and that the sacrifice was sufficient in the eyes of a holy God...

But is it Friday for a reason? Is it perverted by other influences? I think I’m going to go with my gut and say it’s sufficiency of the sacrifice and remembering that that was the day before the third day. And I’m glad that my job gives us the day off.

But this weekend should be good. I hope I survive. I might go to dinner.

I probably won’t but I might.

I kept in touch with someone from western NY for a few months. Like six or eight months or something. She has a daughter and drama but I’d like to have dinner with her.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:05:44 AM EST (GMT-5)
I think she won’t. I think I also had mismatched expectations again.

She’s considerate towards me though.

I don’t know if I’m just a creep.

I think I’m just clingy. Hopeless romantic. Detached from reality.

I have no idea.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:12:09 AM EST (GMT-5)
On Friday 3/26/21 - 12:05:44 AM amaqdrinker wrote:
I think she won’t. I think I also had mismatched expectations again. She’s considerate towards me though. I don’t know if I’m just a creep. I think I’m just clingy. Hopeless romantic. Detached from reality. I have no idea.


Try to have dinner with her on Good Friday. And fish. Fish is good. On Good Friday.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:21:55 AM EST (GMT-5)
I’m there this weekend not next.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:22:53 AM EST (GMT-5)
I love fish. It’s expensive though.
8 months ago - Friday 3/26/21 - 12:24:11 AM EST (GMT-5)
I think I need a tall boy of something terrible and then I have to pass out.

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