The Bible Rewrite Project

Tired of the boring old ho-hum bible? Ever wanted to rewrite it? Here's your chance!

Deuteronomy 8:19
Tired old, ho-hum verse ...
And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish.

New version: If you forget about god, he'll f*ck your b*tch ass up.

Ezra 5:9
Then asked we those elders, and said unto them thus, Who commanded you to build this house, and to make up these walls?
Shiny new, contemporary verse...
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we asked the elders, who had a habit of building random sh*t, "who told you to build this house?"

This is f-cking poo.

Do you not know that God HATES it when people add or switch words around in HIS story?

Read the last paragraph of the bible, and you'll understand.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 3:58:00 PM RandyAddict wrote: This is f-cking poo. Do you not know that God HATES it when people add or switch words around in HIS story? Read the last paragraph of the bible, and you'll understand.

... Are you serious?
It's just for fun, man. Plus, the words of the bible have been switched around so much in history from translation to translation. The bible you read now is possibly and probably inaccurate to the original text.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 3:58:00 PM RandyAddict wrote: This is f-cking poo. Do you not know that God HATES it when people add or switch words around in HIS story? Read the last paragraph of the bible, and you'll understand.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 4:16:46 PM snarenathan wrote: ... Are you serious? It's just for fun, man. Plus, the words of the bible have been switched around so much in history from translation to translation. The bible you read now is possibly and probably inaccurate to the original text.

Not really. I have compared 27 translations and much dif if any is in spelling.

God probably wouldn't be happy with a lot of things I do.
Beyond that, nobody is claiming that what is being written is the work of God.
Beyond THAT, if it bothers you, don't look at it. I put up a nice little NSFW sticker on the link, meaning it will offend some people. No need to preach at me.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 3:58:00 PM RandyAddict wrote: This is f-cking poo. Do you not know that God HATES it when people add or switch words around in HIS story? Read the last paragraph of the bible, and you'll understand.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 4:16:46 PM snarenathan wrote: ... Are you serious? It's just for fun, man. Plus, the words of the bible have been switched around so much in history from translation to translation. The bible you read now is possibly and probably inaccurate to the original text.

On Friday 11/27/09 - 7:26:15 PM tulip wrote: Not really. I have compared 27 translations and much dif if any is in spelling.

... yeah, ENGLISH translations.
I believe he's talking about the entire history of the Bible.
I mean, if you can read ancient Greek, that's okay. but I'm guessing you can't.

Meh socks, I dont read greek but I have friends that are scholars that do. Scriptures message has not changed. It is well known that are about 122 errors in the KJV. If folk want to poke fun at the bible. I dont care.

It's true that the bible hasn't changed much in translation over the centuries. It's definitely one of the more interesting pieces of literature to research. It's also fun to make fun of, since it is so old.

This is evil! You people have no right to disrupt gods word!

John 3:16
Tired old, ho-hum verse ...
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Shiny new, contemporary verse...
And I shall place in men passion for the loins of other men; and they shall lust for another on the Sabbath.

I wonder if you can find pictures of Uncle Sam raping Jesus online. I'm not talking caricatures or artist's renditions, I seriously believe there might be photographic evidence of this.

Oh, here it is.

"Well good morning, Church. Please stand for morning worship. But first, say the pledge."
lol, really?